heartsteals | AWASH IC INBOX

[ Maybe it's just passion getting the better of him, but he means it - he thinks he really means it. He wants to be selfish in this moment. Why can't he just take Cairngorm back with him? He's a jewel thief - isn't that his job? Surely he could figure out some way to do it; he knows they're fighting that war back home, but surely the gems can afford to lose a single soldier. He could make them happy. He's sure he could. Lupin's terrible at giving up, and right now, he can't imagine throwing aside his plans to save London or his feelings for the fey jewel sitting on his lap. ]

Trust me.

[ he gets the sense they're trying to find out if he's serious, so he speaks the words quietly, softly smiling at them between their hands. He doesn't falter under their gaze. His willpower is another story; closing his eyes, he brushes his lips against theirs for the briefest moment in a whisper-soft kiss. ]

[ How can they defy him, when he's looking and smiling at them so gently? Maybe it's gradual and taking time for them to make sense of their importance to him, but they can't find any fault in the conviction of the man in front of them.

The warm brush of his lips is pleasant yet fleeting, gone before they even have a chance to press back very much - as a result, them chasing that fleeting sensation with a belated tilt of their chin ends up in their lips meeting again, just as briefly, not even a beat inbetween his kiss and theirs. An unspoken acceptance of his request, of sorts. ]

Is it... [ They stutter, after a short silence following their lips parting. ] It's still just different?

[ Kissing them like this - it's not better or worse? Their voice is quiet and even a bit unsure, though definitely calmer than it was a few minutes ago. Maybe they've kissed more today than they have the rest of the time they've been together total... ]

[ they probably have...

he feels his pulse leap happily when they chase his kiss with one of their own yet again. They do like it. Lupin is still concerned with how they're feeling and with their tears, but he can't help but feel rather gleeful that Cairngorm is pursuing him today, even if it's only a little. It's perhaps thanks to that that Cairngorm's question catches him off-guard; he looks a little sheepish. ]

... Well... Maybe kissing you is better like this, [ he admits with a small laugh. ] I like this - being able to be close to you, you know.

[ he'd be a liar if he said otherwise. Still, he continues. ]

But... I've always loved your crystal skin. And your hair is like spun silver. And I love that you're stronger than a hundred men - but you're still gentle enough not to even bruise me when I hold you. When I told you I was in love with you, I meant all of you - the gem parts, too. [ maybe parts of it are inconvenient for him, personally; it is sad that he can't love them like he'd love a human woman, sure, and it is sad that they're always worried about hurting him. But if he wasn't all right with all of that, he wouldn't have gone this far. Lupin smiles, brushing his fingers lightly through the back of their hair. ] More than anything, I want you to be happy. Nice as this might be, I'd never have you stay like this when it makes you so out of sorts.

[ They thought he might prefer it if they were human like he is - it'd make things normal for him, after all. But he's always considerate of their insecurity, even though they try all they can not to show it around anyone. It really makes it feel like he knows and understands them more than anyone. It makes them so happy to be loved just as they are, and even moreso, to have their feelings and thoughts put first - it never particularly feels like they need to do anything specific to win his affections, primarily because he gave it to them without them trying before. They don't have the first clue on how to change themself to make themself better to him, anyway, since he's apparently happy with them in their normal state...

It's all very overwhelming to be spoken to and treated like this - in small doses, like his passing comments about their beauty, they can handle it, but having heart to hearts like this makes it all feel that much more intense. But they don't want to cry anymore. They hug him around his neck again when he finishes, tightly - if they start to tear up again, they at least don't want him to see. ]

Well, no one told me it would all be so exhausting... [ Sniffling, they rest their head in the crook of his neck. It isn't that they don't want to acknowledge all those sweet things he's said, but they're afraid the waterworks will come on again if they enable him to dote on them like that for any longer. He always understands their non-verbal responses, anyway, their indirect ways of accepting his affections. ] But... there are some good things about it too.

[ Being close like this; they wish it were a little more possible when they're normal. In most other situations, being a gem is the vastly preferable option, but they'll definitely miss this kind of intimacy whenever their time is up. ]

[ he chuckles under his breath when they nestle in closer, dropping his hand to rub their back comfortingly. Their thin arms feel so warm around his neck. Lupin's going to miss that, too. ]

Right? I told you - it's not so bad.

[ Well -- he did intend to help them get some rest, but having them get tired out via crying definitely wasn't part of the plan. In the end, however, Lupin thinks maybe it was a good thing that they were able to cry; they rarely let themself express that much vulnerability, if ever, but repressing everything like they do is a recipe for disaster. He can forgive himself for making them shed some tears if it was only because they felt something so strongly they couldn't tamp it down. ]

Tiring, though - that, I can agree with. [ he rests his head against theirs a little bit. ] All worn out?

[ They give a little hum, keeping their cheek pressed against him. ]

Sort of...

[ It's strange - they feel worn out in a different way than they usually would. In a way, it's closer to an emotional kind of tiredness, like they spent all the energy they had just dealing with feeling emotions so strongly, more specifically, in such new and raw ways. But that aside, its comfortable just resting and being settled in, right now. They're warmer keeping close to him like this, and there's something really cozy about how he rests against them gently, too. ]

You're not tired?

[ For one, they have been resting all their weight on him for some time now. And secondly, they have to wonder how he puts up with all these sensations all the time. They'd probably never stop being tired out if they were like this constantly... ]

No, not quite. I've got 25 years of experience being human under my belt.

[ and he's a high-energy guy, besides; if anything, getting to be this intimate for once with Cairngorm has him sort of keyed up. But, of course, he's got no intention of expressing that. Lupin shifts his arms a little to support them a bit more. They might be worried about having all their weight on him, but the reality is that they barely weigh anything the way they are now, and he looks perfectly comfortable letting them stay on top of him. (Actually, he doesn't want to let them go at all.) ]

But I don't mind if you rest. [ he closes his eyes, too, urging his heartbeat to slow down a little. ] I'll stay right here with you.

[ They don't want to let go of him at all, either. In books, they always thought it was strange that humans would sleep in the same bed together, but they can definitely see the appeal while here in his arms. At least while they're in this form. Under any normal circumstance, they wouldn't let him anywhere even near their bed while they were sleeping (assuming they had a choice in the matter.) ]

Could we... lay down, then? [ They murmur against the skin of his neck, quietly and truthfully slightly embarrassed to be inviting him in like this. So, they make an excuse, like they always do. ] It's weird to try to rest while sitting up.

[ It'd be more typical for them to say it's weird for him to just watch them sleep and to tell him to go away so they could rest uninterrupted, but they want to stay in the comfortable haven that being alone with him is for just a little longer. Its selfish, and they know it, but maybe for the first time, they feel themself wanting to be selfish with him. They want his time for themself. They don't feel like asking if he doesn't have other things to be doing. For him to say that he wants to stay with them like this - it just makes them so content, so relieved. And the idea that if they fall asleep now, he'll be there when they wake up... it's strangely soothing. ]

[ ah. he'd been thinking about that anyway, to be honest, but he didn't want to jostle them around, and he didn't want them to start stressing about being heavy or whatever else. The words are a bit ticklish against his neck; Lupin breathes out another laugh, suppressing a small shiver in his skin. ]

Of course.

[ he holds them against him a little tighter as he shifts his position, carefully avoiding knocking over any rapidly-cooling cider and fruitcake as he brings his feet up. Cairngorm's gifted bed from home is a lot bigger than the rickety cots most of them have to use; he doesn't have to move much more than that to be able to lean back until his head's resting on their small pile of pillows and Cairngorm's resting on him. It feels so natural that Lupin can almost forget they usually weigh ten times as much as he does.

Almost. But he remembers, and that means he'd probably be better off resting next to them than under them, just in case the town suddenly decides to cut this human thing short. With a small, reluctant sigh, he unwinds his arms from around them, gently placing his hands on their shoulders to urge them up. He'd happily be their pillow if he could, but... ]

[ They comply as soon as he puts his hands on their shoulders - they're well aware it isn't safe to be careless about the situation... But they do let out a sigh while they move off of him to lay next to him on their side, separating from him completely, albeit reluctantly.

It feels a little dramatic to be upset over the very likely possibility they'll never get to be close like this again - but, they feel it regardless, even if they don't let it show. The comfort that being close like that had brought, the longing they feel to stay like this and to stay here, and the pain it brings them that he won't always be there - if he's restless and lovestruck, they are too. Slowly, while thinking this, their hand reaches over to cover his; this much should be okay even if they turn back, shouldn't it? They don't go far enough to lace their slender fingers with his, as they aren't greedy nor sure of themself enough to do so.

If they can't be as close as they want, they at least want to hold his hand, to do something to alleviate the deep yearning they're feeling after leaving his embrace. Their pale eyes meet his, silent, knowing that they don't have to say anything to tell him they want him to stay. ]

[ they might not dare to do so, but he does it for them without a moment's hesitation, slipping his fingers through theirs and closing his hand around their smaller one. They don't need to say a word. He wants to stay, too. Lupin is kind to most everyone he knows, and cares about everyone here in some way or another, but he doesn't look at anyone but Cairngorm the way he is now - immeasurably fond, like they're the only one in the world. Right now, his mind has given way so thoroughly to his heart that they may as well be.

(He's supposed to leave them behind? It's just unfathomable.)

And even with the potential threat of an exponential weight increase, he can't help but turn onto his side, too, and quietly fold his other arm around them, almost protectively, closing the space between them just enough to let his legs brush against theirs. As long as they're not on top of him, it should be fine. He's willing it to be fine. He doesn't care if he has a few bruises when he wakes up. ]

You know, I think I do feel a catnap coming on, [ he murmurs with a little smile. ]

[ Taking in his affectionate gaze at full intensity pulls them back into that pleasant fluttery feeling, somewhere between nerves and excitement. He really is the only one that would ever look at them like that. They melt under it, just slightly, their eyes softening and the last little bits of tension coming out of them entirely. It's a rare sight, for someone as uptight and high-strung as them to look so calm.

They can only take looking at his fond stare and gentle smile for a few long moments before it gets too intense, dropping their gaze down and shuffling so they can tuck their free arm close to themself as he brings himself closer. Their discomfort at being the center of attention has evolved to bashfulness, at least between the two of them, and it shows in how they soften as opposed to locking up, even if their eyes avert all the same. They're enamored with the feeling of his affections, they are; it's just that they truly don't know what to do with all the attention. ]

What happened to "twenty five years of experience"...

[ They mumble, obviously not serious at all from both their drowsy tone and in their little breathy huff... as well as in how their delicate hand squeezes his gently. They're too comfortable and too warm and too contented to do anything to disrupt this. It's so peaceful, with the muted winter sunlight streaming in, the quietness, the intimacy, how they're enveloped by him, emotionally and physically. They wish they could stay in this moment forever. ]

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